Sunday, November 25, 2012

How I Watch Political Debate


Kevin Ridgeway is a mannish boy from Southern California, where he neither surfs, drives a car or has a tan. Instead he sits in his cave, and at night he rides a unicorn over multi-colored clouds and moonbeams while everyone else is sleeping. The unicorn often shits out poems, and Ridgeway sends them in to journals and zines, claiming them to be his own. He must be stopped!

How I Watch Political Debates

I tried to get stoned

before the debates

I don’t usually smoke grass

but I get high blood pressure

when things get political

I went over

to the roach motel

next door where

my amigo shoots

cockroaches with

his magnum

bullet holes line the ground

of his house

he took a toke on his

miniscule joint

and it got sucked up

in his mouth and

went down his throat

leaving me sober

during the debates I

paced back and forth

chain smoking my

lungs raw and black

watching two men

in suits get into a

near fist fight

but mostly staring

at my women’s legs

as she crossed them

focused on their words

I wanted to have sex

instead,

thought it would be

more spirited and American

than paying attention,

but she declined to let

me spank her

or have her

spank me

I celebrated the debates

by going to a small

Mexican restaurant,

and buying a cheap,

fake mustache out of a

vending machine

the girl behind the counter

didn’t watch the debates

and was not amused by

my mustache

she was there doing a real job

rolling the burritos

I furiously began to

demand extra chiles

adjusting my blonde

mustache as I screamed

and then I got kicked out,

and when the door slammed,

my fake mustache flew

into the gutter

and a group of cockroaches

dragged it away

 

 

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