Thursday, January 31, 2013

All I want is quiet / I wrote every day back then

My name is Matthew Sradeja which is nearly unpronounceable. I work in a loud factory and think terribly.

All I want is quiet

What I get is the terrible sounds of the factory machines

Bowling ten frames in my head on the ride home

When everything should be rolling rubber and engine hum

And all I want is bed

And pitch black curtains that block out the devil sun

What I have is a ten pound cat

Stretched out in my spot

Frantically purring for a chance at my heart

Or a long winters nap

I pop in earplugs again and shut off the lamp

That is when press 49 roars back to life

Spitting out parts that clank as they crash into a steel bin

Pounding away at my brain with industrial death jazz

Well greased

And just as well versed at wrecking my rest


I wrote every day back then

I wrote everyday back then

Nothing was sacred

Fuck the president,

The world is screwed get used to it,

Words were my acrobatics.

I investigated the musical tastes of the clouds for

Christ sake!

And it was all, all get out –loud

And proud-ish in fits

In a haze of poisonous smoke

I did all the dope I could not afford and drank like Hank

And Kerouac without soul without giving a shit

A friend of mine once asked

“How can you spell right now?”


I was wwrrrrooooonnnnnggggg

I was so wrong

Wwwrrrroonnnggg became my solitary blue whale song

Diving deep below the rising tide of lonely blackout times


I sold my soul for dope couldn’t cope with the loss

Without a drink, a smoke, a shot, a snort, some pills,

Whatever head change I could find.

The dope haze was never thick enough,

Could never conceal this golden heart

I wrote and wrote and fell in love with a woman

Who is stronger than whiskey. And to this day I am thrilled by her kissing me


I mourn the lost time, my bewildered mind wails blues blown

Wwwwwrrroooonnnnggg as a blue whale

I wail wwwrrroooongggg sunburned and depleted like the ozone.


Life is good now, somehow

And smiles bracket this thought

“I used to be a stoner now I’m a home owner”






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