Wednesday, August 6, 2014

Oaf with Saturday Night Fever / The Chastity Belt

Nominated for Best of the Net and the Pushcart Prize, Donal Mahoney has had work published in the United States, Europe, Asia and Africa. Some of his earliest work can be found at

Oaf with Saturday Night Fever

The urgency of warthogs
wandering in the brush
grunting for ripe acorns
sounds like aging hunters  

prowling in a singles bar
late on a Saturday night
half an hour from closing
no beauty queen in sight

till one of them decides
to meet Miss Prim and Proper
who suddenly looks lovely.  
But she rejects the come-on 

Big Man saved from high school: 
"Honey, I have the hot dog 
and you have the bun. Let's 
get together and have some fun."

The Chastity Belt

Henry's been married 50 years 
without a sorry day, 
his wife Opal reminds him

every week, and Henry 
always says the days 
are great but the nights

are something else.
Tonight should be a dandy 
Henry thinks

as he lies in bed
adrift in shaving lotion 
knowing that his perfumed wife 

will join him once she wins 
the battle of the bulge.
Opal says it's a bigger battle 

every day to get her girdle off.
Henry calls it her chastity belt.
Smiling Opal never disagrees.

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